"I love my baby, yup yup, I love my boy"

Went to see 'The Prestige' with Mr. Andrieshyn this evening. I had two prior meetings (going out with the girls from work or game night at Jason’s), but declined them both because I was feeling depressed. I just wanted to dump around on my couch, eating yogurt and reading my Sedaris. Malcolm came home at 8pm and suggested we go to movies. Being around ‘new’ people takes so much effort when you’re feeling crappy. You have to go through the motions of being cheerful or otherwise you’ll bring others down. I remember once sharing a bed with Cathrine and having one of those deep, late-night conversations that occur at sleepovers. Cathrine is a strong woman, and we were so close then. It was two in the morning and the room was dark. She asked me how I felt about true love and soul mates and all that jazz. I decided to tell her truth (as I felt it at the time). I told her some very depressing, nihilistic stuff. She couldn’t stop crying, and I couldn’t consol her. I had to sleep on the couch that night. We made up in the morning, but I think this is when she started regarding me with caution. The friendship went downhill soon after. In the same way, I’ve learned to avoid being around others when I’m feeling particularly depressed. It only hurts them. The only person that I’ve met so far who can ‘take it’ is Malcolm, but this is because he doesn’t take my melancholy seriously. Not that he believes I’m faking it. Instead, he knows it will pass. I will start sobbing and blubbering like a fool, and he will pat my head and say, “it’s all right baby, you’ll feel better next week.” He’s never been wrong about this. This is why I’d prefer to spend the evening with Malcolm (still, after everything) than with anyone else: I can be myself completely around him.