Manhunt

It happens to me alot. It's the reason I often resist befriending women. I tend to avoid social situations, like parties, where sexuality is the subtext of most social interactions. I go out, with a hot(ter) woman friend, and it somehow happens that we set our sights on the same guy and all hell breaks loose. The woman friend does something sly, like ask me if I'm interested in party guy in a place where I feel compromised -like within his earshot. I say 'no, of course not. We're just friends, he and I.' I'm TERRIFIED of rejection and I detest the social niceties that go along with it. "um, my life is really complicated right now," "Ummm, sure, let's go out for coffee sometime (or never!)." No matter the chances, I don't want potential mates to find out my attraction to them because I am petrified that they will react with disgust. I shouldn't be so resigned since I've had a reasonable share of male attention. However, it's often the worst kind of guy that hits on me. Conversly the party guy, for example, is my age, literate, intelligent, roughly my height, and also socially awkward. Here comes the ugliness. Despite my formative years -I was like a tornado; I sucked everything in my path -I've become quite shy. I don't want to fucking chase men anymore. My stature and confident demeanor precludes most men from approaching me; or at least those academic, nerdy types I am interested in. Rachel was right: if you're tall and confident men expect you to chase; you are expected to be the sexual aggressor. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be chased; I want to meet someone who considers me worth pursuing. it's not like I'm going to make men jump through hoops and beg on their knees. But it would be nice if I got asked out, or someone told me outright that they were interested in seeing me. This shit only happens with dirtbags. Re: the party situation with party guy and the lady friend -I've learned that if you really want a man's attention you basically need to SHAKE your tits in his face and RUB your ass against his dick. You need to coo and giggle and be really fucking obvious. I can't do this kind of shit anymore because it feels so cheap. Furthermore, I'm not interested in a one night stand. I'd prefer to save the titty shaking and ass grinding for a time when I can be alone with him. My tits are not a public event. I have fantastic breasts, but I'd rather reserve squeezing them together for him when we're alone, savvy?